So long!

Been a long 3 months since the last post. We as parents have been really busy taking care of Krishaen. Plus with my Masters project due in about 2 months time, every day is like a race for me and Anandini. Our lifes has changed so much. We wake up around 6.30am every morning to get to work, and by the time we come home in the evening, we are super tired but we have to attend to Krishaen. Sometimes i feel so pressed with time, but i think i require good time management. I now subscribe to a strict working time till about 5pm where i leave office sharp 5pm so that i can reach home by 6pm. This will allow time for me to attend to Krishaen and do my project.

Anandini has been super exhausted lately. Between the two of us, she has it worst. Sometimes i can see the exhaustion in her face. Even when she goes to bed, she has to wake up everytime Krishaen cries for milk even though the next day, she has to go to work by 8am. Sometimes I wonder how do full time mommies with a career juggles both sides. Sometimes we as parents think if everyone can do it, so can we. But along the way, I realized that as much as we tend to think everyone else is faring better than us, we seldom realize that we are already doing a good job at it. Anandini has been fully breast feeding Krishaen till now, tend to the household works when she is at home, cooking, taking care of me.. I have been unwell for the last few days and she took care of me till I am feeling much better now.. So thank you honey. I might not say much on how grateful I am having you with me.. but i really really do. Along the way I realized, you go all out the way for everyone that you love, even sacrificing your own personal time when you can just dont bother and give the excuse that you have no time or just be total ignorant. I am proud to be your husband... Someone who has genuine concern for everyone around her. 

Coming back to Krishaen... the boy has everyone charmed! Most of the time he is a happy kid. He is on solids now. Anandini and me are following this method called "Baby led weaning" where the child grabs his food on his own rather than being spoon fed. This encourages motor skills and also makes the child less picky on food. The child might make a mess at first, but through time, they will able to feed themselves properly. For more info, look at this link http://www.babyledweaning.com. Here is a video on Krishaen trying to eat banana. Most of it went down the floor and very little went to his mouth. 

Ok gotta go people. Have a great monday. Keep calm and eat chips!

Future note.

I've always read the many SOS calls on the breastfeeding network pages, asking for advise on low yield or sudden decrease in milk production. And during those times, I would always count my blessings, grateful for I'm blessed with bountiful of susu.

Until yesterday!

Woke up, felt that both of my breast weren't as firm and full. Also, the contra lateral boobie dint leak while LilBums was suckling on the other. Something was definitely amiss. Panic stroke. And panic  stroke bad!

Few days ago, I developed a sudden rage of fever. As usual when I develope fever, it's complicated by a bout of generalized hives (the most torturous and annoying thing ever!). I did not stop feeding LilBums, still kept at it despite feeling like I was about to collapse. The only time I stopped, was thru out that nite. Bums said I needed rest, as I really couldn't take it. So decided to thaw one packet of frozen breast milk I've kept stored. I woke up that morning with slight engorgement, and hence pumped it out and got about 6-7oz. That aftnoon I started feeding LilBums again.

I was thus caught off guard, when all I managed to pump out yesterday was a mere 1-2oz. Usually, it'll be a full 8-9oz per session! Damn! I was heartbroken, and very much in years. Not many understood the significance though.

Despite still feeling a bit drowsy and weak, spent the whole of yesterday trying to boost my milk production. Few cups of hot milo + 3 cans of Malta (malt, excellent booster. Usually I only require one can!), had fenugreek tea the whole morning (worker much like a detox for me too!), Mummy made a large pot of red bean porridge (and I hate em red beans, but for the sake of susu I ate almost 2-3 bowls full), had a large bowl of oats for lunch, and fish head noodle soup for dinner. Everything was a milk booster. Apart from that, stimulated production by pumping every 2hours. Although all I got was a mere 1-2oz. Pumped like mad, still.

Was worried if LilBums was insatiable, but he was passing out sufficient wet diapers and poop. He suckled for a much longer time though and he cluster fed mostly, which made my nipples sore and shoulders and arms to hurt. He woke up 4 times thru out the nite, nursed for longer than usual and slept well there after. I guess he was full, coz I needn't use the thawed milk I kept out just in case.

Woke up this morning, and glad my breast seemed a bit more full. But still not as full as I'd like em to be, still gonna be loading on em susu boosters today. Daddy bought shark, which Mummy made into a yummy soup. Whacked one bowl for lunch!

It's been an exhausting weekend. And I feel totally zombiefied. The post febrile myalgia, with the muscle fatigue and the tendinitis is really troubling me. Yet I'm pulling thru. Coz my son needs me, and I know my effort will bear results soon.

I don't know what really killed it. The fever? The one night not feeding? How do many do it every nite and still have susu? Meds? I really had to take a pred jap for my hives (25mg) and took one oral dose of loratadine. 100+? Drank lots of it, instead of water. Lack of oral intake? Hardly had much to eat as I could hardly even sit up. I really don't know. Best part, I don't even know why I developed the sudden fever. No other symptoms, no breast engorgement. Just fever.

I want my normal susu production back. I'm sure he misses his susu abundance too.

I'll continue striving. Today I'm a bit more calm and relaxed.

Tired, yet relaxed. Fingers crossed!

Lesson learnt: never take things for granted.

Thank you.

Sometimes, we forget to be appreciative. Today I wanna express my utmost gratification, for the many blessings I've had so far.

I'm glad my husband is my husband. Someone who tries to make things easier for me. He gets up for Krishaen's nite feeds, and helps out a lot. Sometimes he is clueless, but he still tries and learns how to make it better. He is able to soothe a crying baby, and put him to sleep.. Something not many fathers can do, as young babies will almost always seeks comfort only in their mummies. Today he went out of his way to get me breakfast, making him late to work. We do argue at times, and I sometimes get frustrated with him when things are rough. I sometimes feel we are growing apart as we hardly spend time together like before, only to realize we are closer than ever with Krishaen's presence. We may not be able to go out for a drink or movie as often, but we'll have all the time for that later. Now we spend time burping Krishaen, and watching him coo and patiently encourage him as he tries to turn to his back. He's juggling his work, and his studies, and being a loving husband and a responsible father. He ain't perfect, but it's enough.

I'm glad for my parents, for both Mummy & Daddy have helped me a lot. They look after Krishaen, now that I'm slowly getting back to work. They talk to him and sing to him, so I can have a few hours to myself sometimes. I know looking after a baby is no joke, especially when he is fussy and cranky. I'm glad I have them, and not have to be worried over leaving him with a total stranger to babysit. I know sometimes they are tired, they don't have enough time to mark their books, and plan their lessons. Yet they don't complain much.

I'm glad Krishaen is a healthy cheeky baby. It's hard having to exclusively breastfeed him, and I'm proud I've managed to for the past 97 days. At times waking up in the middle of the nite is so difficult. And at times I get so frustrated that he needs to be fed again, when I felt he just had a boobie full meal! I take it for granted, how I'm blessed with succesful lactation. I get so frustrated how he constantly needs me, sometimes I wish he will sleep more. I feel so exhausted having to always think about his milk stock, and have to pump n pump so he has enough milk when I'm at work. Yet, seeing him achieve a good weight gain, layaning his coos and giggles, seeing him throw his hands and legs in excitement when playing with kumki, his elephant and bobo, the cow.. Brings way too much joy that it always outweighs the frustration. I pray he'll always be a healthy and happy baby.

I'm also glad I'm slowly getting better. Started work, it's hard not coz of the workload but coz I'm exclusively breastfeeding. I'm constantly tired and super exhausted, hence I look forward to tiny pleasures in life like the super yummy Mississippi Mud Muffin from Starbucks! I miss hanging out with my friends, and I feel left out on missin out on outings with the cousins. I yearn to go shopping, as I need new clothes. I wanna go jalan jalan cari makan like last time too. At times I feel like I'm gonna break apart, and yet I pull myself together. And I count my blessings, knowing many may not be as blessed as I am.

Everyday is a journey, and I'll continue racing.

Get up, move it!

Krishaen is 78 days old today! Soon he'll be 3 months!!

Honestly, Im slowly enjoying Motherhood. The rough edges are smoother now, and Im gradually embracing being his Amma. He sleeps more regularly, he latches on well when he feeds, he doesnt fuss much. Life's good.

He has achieved more than his current developmental milestones! His neck is getting stable, he can hold his head up. He smiles and giggles and coos, responds well to his surroundings. He is also able to turn to his side, and almost to his front though not completely.

As for me, the weighing scale shows that I've lost weight. But I feel pretty messed up, physically. The wounds have healed I guess, though Im very much troubled by constant backaches and joint aches, prolly attributed to the lack of exercise. Hence, I've started to do some daily light stretches and it's beginning to help. I dont wanna loose weight to look thin (although, that'll be really good!) I just need to strengthen my back and get in touch with my lower abdominal and pelvic muscles. And it only takes a few minutes.

These are the few Im practising, see if it works for you too!

This looks easy, but it's super susah! 

Used to this daily, then got a bit malas. But still try to do it every now and then.

Stay fit, ya'll! Only then we'll be able to care for our little ones!

Much love!

Just saying..

Yesterday, after lunch and getting ice cream, when we entered the car...
Me: Car smells like baby's vomit..
Bums: Think you smell like baby's vomit
Me: You also smell like baby's vomit!
Bums: We no need to buy perfume edi... frm now on we'll always smell like baby's vomit!

Teehehehehehe... Good thing Krishaen is breastfed, his vomit doesnt stink so bad! Simple joys of being parents!

Krishaen is 57 days old today! He's grown quite a bit, getting more heavier. He's responding to us when we speak, oohs and giggles and laughs a lot! Kicks his feets and swings his arms at all directions, especially when watching Sun Music, or any of Mummy's tamil dramas daily!

Anyhows, been wanting to share this for quite a bit. Just my two cents worth, from experience. Perhaps, many take it for granted. But after having gone thru it myself, this is what I have to say. Listed below, are certain measures to observe when visiting someone who has just had a baby. Take it with a pinch of salt, but it is the undeniable truth!

• Try not to visit her almost immediately after birth. I know your intentions are good, and you're excited to see the newborn. But, really. Give it a day at least. SVD or LSCS, let her rest for a bit.

• If you really must visit on Day1, make your visit a short one. She'll appreciate it much more. Im glad, the few who visited me on day 1 did just that. 20mins max!

• When visiting, please do not lean on her bed, or keep tapping on the railings, or worse have your kid bounce of the bed every so often! Especially is she's post op. Even a micro inch movement hurts like hell, and with your inconsiderate kid bouncing off the side of my bed made it worse. You noticing, and not stopping your kid, made it even more worse!

• If she's asleep when you're visiting, let her sleep. If the baby's asleep, let him sleep. Dont go poking at the baby to wake him up. You'll enjoy 2mins of coos, while the mother suffers a night of crankyness when you've left.

• Do call before visiting, and ask for when will be the best time. Showing up unexpectedly aint good. For both mummy and baby.

• Best is to give it a week or two, before coming over. That's prolly when both mummy and baby and daddy are doing much better, and have sorta gotten the hang of their new found lifestyle.

• Always try to ask if it's ok to carry the newborn. He might have just been fed, and would rather have a minute or two before being carried.

Banyak lagi,.. but Krishaen just woke up.

It was very hard initially, the whole being parents thing. We hardly have a good night's sleep. Both Mummy and Daddy wakes up for his feed, mummy feeds, while daddy burps him. We are constantly tired. It makes it a bit easier being with my parents, as they take a huge load of things a bit.

But when he smiles, or when he rests his head on my chest while sleeping, or when he holds on to me when he's having his bath... makes it all worth it. Our love for hime grows fonder each day!

Krishaen is his name!

We've been parents for one month now! What a whole new world... Im sure many of ya'll literally sang that line rite? Like in Aladdin.. :p

We've just celebrated the end of confnement last Sunday.And yes, even though we live in the modern era now, and despite us being scientific people rather than mythical ones, we still went thru it all. Like the whole 9 yards. Some of it hardly had any base to it, but when Periamma and Mummy tried explaining it a lil, it did sorta made sense. I diligently consumed all the rempah ratus which made me feel so panas. But honestly, confinement period did sorta get to me after 2 weeks or so. I was literally starting to feel very confined. Especially when LilBums and I were sleeping in the spare room downstairs. Also perhaps, I was so new to it all. The constant need to feed (both me and LilBums!), and the many food restrictions, being cooped up indoors and of coz the lack of sleep. Only when I was well enough to get upstairs and be with Bums did I feel a whole lot better. It was indeed an experience. I thought I was gonna break down, which I think at some point I almost did. I turned into one helluva nasty sleep deprived monster, I was mean towards Bums (we broke into so many fights, most of the time it was my fault, but he was also jahat sometimes), and I kept snapping at everyone at home. Looking back, I believe it somewhat toughened me up and made me a stronger person, in a weird kinda way. Im getting used to the routine, I enjoy feeding and caring for him, Im embracing motherhood. Im also slowly becoming a super obsessive and paranoid mummy! :p

Many may disagree with the whole confinement process and all, ridiculing it and calling it baseless. But I believe, certain things are just meant to be. You'll see the value of it later.

Initially it was so hard to get LilBums to latch on to breastfeed. I suffered from painful and sore nipples due to improper latching. It was so sore, that it hurts even when rubbed against the t-shirt. But we persevered. Good support from my parents, and Bums who reminded me how it's good for him, I braved thru. LilBums is now a one month old, fully breast fed baby. Ive lost weight, and our son is receiving the best. Win-win situation. Been following a group on FB which provides good support as well. Seriously, I dont believe in anyone not having enough milk. I think it's a mere excuse to not provide to your child, unless of course it is medically indicated. It is hard work and demands every ounce of you, physically and mentally, and to give such excuses is simply taking the easier way out.  And having successfully accomplished this, of which Im planning to for another year at least, I believe Ive rights to boast and gloat. So, yea.. Breast is the best! There is always enough milk, always. Just continue latching and it'll produce. Get a good nursing pillow to support yourself, it really helped me when LilBums was so tiny as a newborn. And read,.. read a whole lot. Educate yourself endlessly. Even as a doctor myself, I've learned of so many things in just these few months. And dont follow a schedule, like every 2 hours or so. Use it as a guide, but follow your baby instead. Feed on demand. And most importantly, dont give up. It'll get better. Before when it was so painful I used to dread it when he cries for milk, but I still got up and fed him thru my extremely sore nipples. Now, when he doesnt get up after a certain hour to feed, I get really sad. It's more of a pleasure to feed him now (except at frickin wee hours in the morning!), and to know he's receiving the best is just so assuring.

And we're saving a lot! Formula milk is so frickin expensive!!! Pheewww....

This was written over a span of 3 days :p

Ive got more, but laters! ( . ) ( . ) time....

D20: We gave LilBums a good bath!

LilBums is D20 today, and I gave him a good bath, by myself!!! He's still so tiny and fragile, and it was super terrifying! I have to learn, sooner or later. Then Bums dressed him up. From lotioning, to powdering, struggled to put on his rompers, the full works la! We be so cekap parents!

Trying really hard to keep him from falling off!

Wipe, wipe! Powder, powder!

Almost done!

Handsome and all ready for next ( . ) ( . ) buffet!

Mummy was changing LilBums diapers earlier. She kept it open, and he decided he wasnt done. He gave one last poop explosion, which soiled the bedspread and splattered all the way to the floor. While we were cleaning up, suddenly he pancut upwards and had pee all over him and his face!! Then he happily smiled and giggled!! Day 20, and already wrecking up havoc!